“Mom?” I hear the front door slam as Daniel yells for me.
“I’m up here, Daniel,” I yell back as I set down my book.
Footsteps charge up the stairs and Daniel rushes into my room, dropping his backpack onto the floor. He sits down next to me on the bed, speaking a mile a minute.
“So, today at school, we had our test, right? Well, I’m taking the test when Nikki---she sits behind me---starts throwing her pencil at me.” Daniel’s face starts to turn red.
“Well, you should have ignored her,” I tell him as I pick up my book again and start reading.
“The thing is I did. Well, I tried to, but she just kept on doing it and I couldn’t concentrate on my test. So, I turned around to tell her to stop and get this, Mr. Davis saw me! Not once did he see Nikki, but he just had to see me…so, I got my test taken away. He said I was cheating, Mom!”
I start to laugh as he finishes his story. His mouth drops open, “You’re laughing? Mom, you know I wouldn’t cheat, right?
Once again I have to laugh at my son. He’s breathing hard as I reply, “Of course not, Daniel. You’re too much like your father.”
Daniel’s face lightens from the mention of his father, “Really?”
I stroke Daniel’s cheek, “Yes.” Daniel smiles up at me.
I smile back, then sit my book down and stand up, “Now, take your backpack off of my floor and go do your homework, so that I can finish my book.”
“Okay.” Daniel runs from the room and shuffles back down the stairs.
Once again, I pick up my book and start to read. I hear Daniel down in the kitchen, pulling out a stool and rummaging through the cupboard. A loud crash sounds, “Daniel, what was that?”
Daniel pauses for a second, “Nothing…”
I sigh and again lie down my book. I go down into the kitchen and nervously look in, “Daniel?” I step into the room and look around. Then, I spot him. A smile breaks across my face and I start to laugh, “Oh, Daniel.”
Daniel stands in the corner of the kitchen, covered in white. The bag of flour that once sat on the top shelf of the pantry now lies half empty on the tile. Daniel looks up at me innocently through his floured eyelashes. He looks back down and flour drops from his hair. He sniffs and wipes away a tear.
I walk over to him and kneel down, “Daniel, honey, why are you crying?”
He shrugs, spilling flour from his shoulders. I smile and laugh. Daniel looks up at me, confused, “You’re not mad, Mom?”
“Of course I’m not.”
Daniel smiles and lets out a small chuckle, then he shakes his hair, throwing flour around the room including onto me. I laugh and pick up a hand full of flour from off of the floor, throwing it back at Daniel. He screams in his high pitched seven year old voice. He grabs onto me, covering me in flour from waste down. We sit down and laugh.
I wipe flour from Daniel’s face and speak, “So, I was wondering if you would like to go to the beach this weekend, just you and me.”
Daniel’s face breaks out into a bright smile. He nods excitedly, shaking the extract flour from his hair onto the kitchen floor. I smile back and pick him up, “But, first, we’ve got to clean up this kitchen.”
As soon as I pull into a parking space Daniel is out of his seat belt and out the car, running down towards the beach. I step out and start unloading the trunk, pulling out blankets, sunscreen, and a manner of snacks.
Once I’ve laid out the blanket, I watch Daniel collect seashells. Every so often he points to one with a smile then picks it up to show me. After about ten minutes I finally pick up my book and start to read, the sun beating down hotly.
I don’t know how long I was sleeping, but I suddenly wake up and the sun his gone. Dark clouds blanket the sky and the wind howls around me. I put away my book and sit up. After I pack everything up, I turn to Daniel, “Daniel? It’s time to…”
I frantically look up and down the beach and out into the ocean. Daniel is gone, “Daniel?”
I scream for my son over and over, running along the shore. After twenty minutes of screaming, my voice becomes hoarse and my legs collapse. I just sit there, shaking. Where is my son?
“Look! There’s a boy out in the water!” I hear someone yell from behind me and I quickly look out. Daniel floats motionless about twenty yards from the shore.
“Daniel!” I rush into the water and start to swim out to my son. I pull him along as I struggle to reach the shore. His body is heavy.
“I called the ambulance,” someone beside me says as I look down at my son.
I push down hard on his chest, counting silently, then breathing for him. Tears stream down my eyes, blinding my vision. I start to slow, getting weaker and weaker. An ambulance arrives and my son is taken from me, “Daniel!” I scream out for him. A man helps me towards the ambulance.
The man helps me into the ambulance and a woman starts speaking to him. I only catch a few words as water starts to drain from my ears.
“Attack…legs…shark.” I look down at Daniel.
My tears start to dry and my vision becomes clear. Daniel’s body is pale and lifeless. His eyes are closed. I look down and scream, my vision darkening.
Blood covers the bottom half of Daniel’s body. But, something seems wrong. I only see half of his legs. I don’t see his feet. They’re gone. The doctor’s words come back to me.
Attack, shark.
“No!” The woman doctor turns to me as I suddenly start heaving. She hands me a bag. My body shakes and I don’t have time to breath in between each heave. Finally, nothing remains in my body. I dry heave a few times, then I start to scream.
We reach the hospital and the male doctor helps me out, my legs weak, threatening to collapse from under me.
“Ms.? What is your son’s name?” He looks at me and I can’t seem to form his any words.
“…Daniel…Daniel Parker…” I can’t breathe.
He leads me into the waiting room and sits me down, “Ms. Parker? I need you to calm down. I need you to listen to me. How old is your son?”
I breathe deeply, “Seven.”
“When is his birth date?”
“July 13, 2003.”
“Is his father living?”
“No…he died two years ago from cancer.”
I look down at my bloodied hands, shaking violently. I breathe in and out deeply. No tears fall from my eyes, but my chest feels as if it’s going to cave in.
“Ms. Parker, your son has lost a lot of blood. He is in a coma right now. He’s going to survive the attack, but we don’t know if he’ll come out of the coma.”
My vision darkens and the room starts to spin. I put my head in between my knees.
After I don’t respond, the doctor leaves me there. About ten minutes later a woman doctor comes up to me.
“Hello, Ms. Parker. I’m Doctor Harris.” I just look straight ahead. “Would you like me to get someone to drive you home?”
“No…” I quickly say, “I’d like to stay with my son.”
“That’s fine. Can I help you clean up?”
I look down at my tattered dress covered in blood. My arms are scratched and bloodied, too, “Yes…please.”
Doctor Harris brings me in some clothes after I wash up, “I have these for when I work long nights. They should fit.”
I go back into the waiting room and sit down. I close my eyes and silent tears drop down my cheeks. Twelve hours later I’m still sitting there. Doctor Harris comes up to me.
“Your son has survived the attack, but he’s still in his coma. Would you like to see him?”
I nod slowly and she leads me down the hall into a room. Daniel lies peacefully sleeping. Bruises cover his body and bandages scatter his arms and face. I cover my mouth as I see where his legs should be and aren’t.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Doctor Harris says and walks out.
I walk over and sit next to Daniel, taking his cold hand. It feels heavy in mine.
“What were you thinking Daniel?” I whisper.
What was I thinking? I should have watched him. I should have made sure he was safe. But, I didn’t and now this happened.
Tears spill down my face and drop onto Daniel’s arm.
“Don’t cry mom,” Daniel wipes the tear from my cheek. I look down and smile at him.
I had just gotten a call from the hospital. Daniel’s father, my husband, had just died from his cancer. The doctor told me he died peacefully, but I couldn’t help the crying.
“Promise you won’t cry, Mom?” Daniel says to me with begging eyes.
I look down at my son who had just lost his father. His eyes have no trace of tears.
“I promise, Daniel.”
It’s a broken promise now.
“I’m so sorry Daniel.”
I turn as Doctor Harris walks back into the room, “I’m sorry, Ms. Parker, but we need to do some more tests and we need you to leave.”
I look back at Daniel and wipe the tears from off of his arm then I silently leave the room. I need to think.
I step outside of the hospital and look around. I see a church from across the street and I’m suddenly moving towards it without thinking.
I’d never been religious. I didn’t even know anything about God, but something drove me into the building and sat me down on the front row, staring up at the statue. Words spill out of me.
“I…I don’t know you. I don’t even know why I’m here. But, I need your help. My son, Daniel, isn’t in very good shape right now. He had an accident…” The words just keep on coming, as if I’m saying them to a friend, “If you’re real…God…would you help me? I can’t lose my son. He’s everything to me. He’s so young. His father died two years ago and if there’s a hell my son has been living in it. But, he’s been strong. Just…please…is there some way for me to take his place? He needs to live…”
I sit quietly, as if waiting for an answer. It seemed like hours that I sat there. As I stand up, my phone rings, “Hello?”
“Ms. Parker?”
“Yes?”
“It’s Doctor Harris. We need you here right away.”
I run to the hospital and into Daniels room. Doctors Harris stands next to another doctor by Daniel’s bed. He holds a clipboard and is writing something down. Daniel still lies unconscious.
“Ah, Ms. Parker. Can we talk out in the hall?” The doctor says.
We go out into the hall and he shuts the door to Daniel’s room, “Daniel’s brain activity isn’t doing very well. We don’t think he’ll be coming out of this and even if he did he will have severe brain damage.”
The room starts to spin and I feel arms grab me as I plummet to the ground.
I wake up by Daniel a couple hours later. He still lies quiet and lifeless. Once again, I take his hand in mine. A spark seems to pass through our hands and I looked down in confusion.
I look back up at Daniel. His eyes still lay shut, blackened. I long to see a smile cross over his face. I long to see his big, blue eyes look up at me. I long to hear his voice. Looking back down, memories flood my head.
“Isn’t he beautiful, Aaron?” I look up at my husband then back down at the big, blue eyes of my newborn son.
“Yes he is,” Aaron gently kisses the top of my head, then our son’s.
“What are we going to name him?” I ask suddenly.
Aaron pauses for a minute, “Daniel.”
I smile, “Danie…It’s perfect.”
“Mommy! Daddy! Look at me!” Daniel is riding around on the driveway on his new bike.
Aaron and I clap. Daniel suddenly crashes onto the grass and we’re over there in a second. Daniel sits there laughing and soon we’re all sitting on the grass laughing together.
“Again, again!” Daniel screams.
I watch as Aaron picks Daniel up and sits him back on the bike, giving him a push. Daniel looks back at me with a smile. Aaron watches Daniel, smiling.
“Hello?”
“Sara Parker?”
“Yes?”
“This is Doctor Coles. I wish I didn’t have to call you, but we have some bad news. Your husband died this morning. It was sudden. The cancer was just too much. He died peacefully. I’m very sorry for your loss.”
I drop the phone and collapse onto the kitchen floor. My body shakes violently and sobs erupt from my throat, “Aaron!”
“Daniel, honey? I need to tell you something,” I look down at Daniel as he sits on the floor playing with his toy cars. He looks up at me.
“Mommy? Can we go see Daddy today?”
My eyes fill with tears, “Daniel…Daddy isn’t coming home. Daddy is gone.”
“Gone where?”
I kneel down next to Daniel and pull him into my arms, “Daniel…Daddy died.”
Daniel looks up me, his big, blue eyes shimmering with tears, but not a single one fell over his cheek. It seemed like millions fell from mine.
“Are you leaving, Mommy?”
“No, sweetheart, I will always be here. I’m permanent.” Daniel nods.
My eyes become dry and I take a single, shaky breath, “I’m permanent.”
“Mom?”
“Yes, Daniel?”
“Why are you crying?”
I suddenly feel a warm hand pass over my cheek, wiping away my tears. I look up and see big, blue eyes looking back at me, “Daniel…”
Daniels looks at me with confusion, but a smile appears on his face when a smile spreads across my lips. I drop Daniel’s hand and lift him into my arms, sobbing happy tears now. The doctors rush into the room, both faces full of surprise.
The doctors take Daniel away for some testing. His tests all come back positive. No damage came from the accident. I sit in the waiting room. It’s silent.
I look out the door of the hospital and see the church across the street, “Thank you.”
Daniel comes out on a wheel chair, pushed by a doctor. I look sadly at the place where his legs should be. He notices.
“Mom, I don’t care about my legs,” Daniel says to me, smiling, “I’m just happy I’m alive.”
I smile at Daniel, “Me too.”
“Where are we going, Mom?”
I start to push Daniel out of the hospital, “We’re going home."
